Thursday, March 12, 2009

Vocations, Passions and Rest.

This is a post that has taken me a while to write as I am afraid that I am in a muddle. I am struggling to get going at the moment. Usually fatigue is my issue, but I don't think this is the case right now. Heart felt purpose might be closer to the mark. I say heart felt, as in my head I know what my purpose is, as a child of God, as a wife and as a mother.

All is well here, I even love the weather at the moment. I am enjoying clean windows to look out through and I feel that the general jobs around the house are up to date, not perfect, but fine.

There are many "I should dos" in my thoughts though and I think they all relate to activities with our children.

I love spending time with them and listening to them but I do find that I need to be still and not be busy with something else to do this well. I love sitting with them, doing puzzles with them, walking with them, reading with them and holding them.

The trouble is though that I find it hard to get motivated to do the other things I need to do with them: I am overwhelmed by the choice of activities that I could do with our 4 year old daughter and her Occupational Therapy, to the point that when I have an opportunity to work with her, I struggle to know which activity to choose.

I often bake, but at the moment I don't think I can handle little helpers. Actually at the moment I don't even want to bake.

Today I read about Aimee who has many projects buzzing around her head.... She sounds energised by that and that is a nice state to be in.
My projects/hobbies list looks like this: patchwork quilt for 2 year old daughter, complete baby books for the three girls and write some letters. I should even make some cards for our school fete.

I then read Elizabeth's post and I think I could identify with what she was saying, how lovely to have the freedom not to embrace all the hobbies that we think we could or should. Sometimes projects and hobbies can be harder to get motivated for than the daily list of tasks. Sometimes the items on our hobby list sounded like a good idea, but in actual fact they are not our passion. Perhaps they are better thought of as tasks in our vocation.
She asks for us to consider what our vocation is and what our passion is......

Now my vocation, wife and mother; my passion..........I am not sure.

When our first born was a baby, with day sleeps and no need to be anywhere, I worked hard in the garden. I am so thankful that I did that then and not now as I would not get nearly as much done as I would like to. I also enjoyed it thoroughly.

When our second child was born, I made cards, but I am not a perfectionist, unfortunately I do not appreciate this art and just want to create as many cards as I can for the time that I have and to make the most of unpacking my card making tools! I also joined a bookclub and reading does give me great pleasure.

When our third child was born, we had just completed a renovation on the house and getting that sorted in between feeding her and looking after our older two kept me quite busy thankyou. I think at about that time I also did a botanical drawing course and started drawing a few things. I enjoy this but again, long stretches of time with good light are handy.

After our fourth child was born, a good friend inspired me to take up quiliting. I have started and I have stopped: Perhaps a little fearful of not doing it correctly?
Husband E has given me a bike and I am slowly learning how to ride and gain confidence on it. I just can't disappear on the bike just yet- I am still a learner and I cannot leave the children home alone!

All of the above were excellent hobbies, but none of them are passions. It would be good to define what a passion is. Does anyone know?

Perhaps we should look at the interests and gifts that God has given us. If we can serve,with joy and develop those gifts, I am sure God will fill us with a passion for it.

Should our passion be separate or different from what gives us rest? What are things that give us peace and rest? In "Ministry of Motherhood", Sallyanne Clarkson speaks of taking the time out to enjoy Creation and to make a point of sharing this with our children. In enjoying this we are to acknowledge the Creator. Another book "Breathe", encourages us to make sure we have the time to be still to be with our families, to listen to them and enjoy time together. I love this goal and ideal, it just disappoints me and causes me great guilt that I crave silence, solitude and absorption in something else at the moment.

What am I interested in?

Places of beauty, people, different countries, the way people go about their day,food, making a home, planning trips, swimming, tennis and walking.

What is your passion? How do you gain rest and refreshment?


Jeannette said...

I'm surprised you haven't gotten any comments on your long are so open in your pondering and self evaluation.
I think there are shoulds in life...but they are high shoulds, deep shoulds, principled shoulds, if you will. Then there is an enormous generous realm of what you may do. Motherhood requires much surrender, yes. The things you do to rest and grow and learn are all going to be plowed back into your family too. Resist the guilt and delight in all your choices.

Hill upon Hill said...

Thankyou Jeanette for your thoughts and advice, I appreciate it.